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Life Lately

5/14 WOD Helen

400 m run

21 KB (1 pood)

12 pull up

3 rounds- 8:02

5/15- Dances with Dirt Relay Race

Before the Race Started:


5/17- Tommy V

85 pound Thruster, 21 reps
15 ft Rope Climb, 12 ascents
85 pound Thruster, 15 reps
15 ft Rope Climb, 9 ascents
85 pound Thruster, 9 reps
15 ft Rope Climb, 6 ascents



10x250m Row (averaged 59 sec)


75 power snatch- 75#- 7:59


400 m run

50 squats

3 rounds-6:53



Deadlift 175#


Double unders (did 5:1 ratio for singles)


All I really need to know I learned in Roller Derby

Last weekend was the Naptown Roller Girl’s final home bout of the season, and our special guest was Indy’s Mayor Greg Ballard, who we dubbed “Power Ballard”.  I shook his hand at the 7th IMPD Recruit Class academy swearing in, but this time I met him as Sookie Smackhouse.  You can read about Power Ballard’s roller derby debut in the Indy Star.

I now have a season of roller derby under my skates, and in at least one aspect of my life I’m not quite so fresh meat. After spending over 500 hours of the last year on wheels, I would hope I’ve learned a few things.  In no particular order, Sookie’s list of “All I really need to know I learned in Roller Derby”:

  1. Don’t be intimidated- Dive in.  I’m not a very fearful person, but when I first started derby I had the heeby jeebies every time I stepped on the pivot or jammer line.  Diving in (literally) with my body overcame those feelings pretty quickly. There’s always the risk you’ll get hurt with most things in life, either emotionally or physically, but derby has reminded me to never be intimidated by anything or anyone.  
  2. Teamwork– The Naptown Warning Belles remained undefeated this season because we play as a team- as a pack. You can be an amazing individual skater, but you can’t block a damn thing by yourself. Thank you roller derby for teaching me again and again to work with others, and to skate my best because others are relying on me.
  3. Keep moving- I never stop moving my feet in derby. When I fall down (and it does happen often), I bounce back up.  To keep moving, you have to be motivated by something. In derby the motivation is usually kicking ass, in life I’m prompted by faith, hope and love. 
  4. Have a flexible plan– As a pivot, you call the play for the jam. That plan can pretty quickly go to pot- so you have to be flexible.
  5. Play with class– You can kick ass in roller derby and still be classy about it. I’m proud the Naptown Roller Girls is a family affair and that we generally treat our competition with respect. Officer Smackhouse plans on keeping it classy on the streets of Naptown too.



Steak and Flowers

Friday WOD

10 SDLHP (65#)

10 Ring Dips

7 rounds- 7:10

Yesterday Mr. Smackhouse said he had 2 surprises for me after academy.  Surprise number one was a bouquet of flowers.  Surprise number two was a top sirloin steak from the grocery store. Which do you think I was more excited about?  Of course: the steak.  Replace the flowers with some dark chocolate, and that’s a damn near perfect way to end a week of academy.

Another near perfect combination? Star Wars and roller derby.  Last weekend the Naptown Roller Girls defeated the Sioux Falls Roller Dollz in our annual “Scar Wars” bout. You can check out more pics here.

Scar Wars 013 by tomklubens.

Other wonderful combinations in store for Smackhouse this weekend: sleep + no 5 am wake up call, medication + less phlegm in my throat, BOUT day! + road trip with some awesome roller ladies. 

All to be followed up by Bad Combination Monday:  chemical spray + eyeballs.


There’s no crying in…

I fear crying during inappropriate times more than most other common phobias: public speaking, spiders, heights, creepy old men who loiter the public library, or the dreaded Arachibutyrophobia.  On the other hand, crocodiles, manatees, tight enclosed spaces, and the Smackhouse residence basement are a few phobias I’ll admit to (you can also add tanker explosions to that list after this little incident outside my window at work a few months ago)

After Alabama Whippin’s ankle break at derby practice this week, I may have also developed a slight fear of bone protrusions: During combatives training this week I twisted my neck fiercely.  It hurt, but wasn’t anything I couldn’t fight through. Then I noticed a liquid pool of salty water in my eye.  It proceeded to spill out of my eyeball and drip onto the wrestling mat.  The final straw occurred after my partner dropped me in a double leg takedown and I heard a little whimper come out of my mouth. What the hell?!?!  Was I crying?!? At police academy??

I started getting more upset because I was tearing up, than because of my neck pain.  In short- I was crying about crying.  Keep in mind, I wasn’t bawling, but for Officer Smackhouse this equaled being a hot teary mess at exactly the wrong time.  It probably wasn’t noticeable until I had snot running from my nose, which is a little harder to cover up when you’re rubbing your face on someone’s torso for a defense tactic.

I have no embarrassment crying at other times- funerals, hurting for a friend’s difficult situation, Folgers commercials, and when I want to get my way in an argument with Mr. Smackhouse.  But academy and derby practice are two roles where I absolutely hate having my pride broken.

After a few moments, a Sergeant took notice of either:

a.) the fact that I was continuously rubbing my eyes to prevent further spillage, or

b.) the snot wipes on my partner’s shirt

and demanded, “What’s wrong Petersohn?”

“Just twisted my neck, sir. It’s fine sir.”

“Good. We’ll just twist it back the other way with this next move I’m going to teach you.”

That’s when I learned the “crossface”, and put a man twice my size on the ground. Ahh, now that made me feel a little better.

Here’s to accepting bruised egos as well as bruised muscles during my fresh meat beat patrol.  But I would appreciate if you don’t think of me as a softie (and also any tips on how to conquer my fear of manatees. I’ve heard they’re gentle creatures, but I simply do not believe it.)


This is Bruiseopoly!

The Smackhouses have invented a new game since the inception of my police academy training. Pat Sajak and Alex Trebek have nothing on us (except for a well-groomed mustache).  I’d like to introduce you to “Bruiseopoly”.

Before we play, you’ll need a little background information. First- I’m a klutz.  I’ve clearly established grounds for this assertion in an earlier post.  Secondly, part of my police academy training includes combatives and defense tactics.  This class incorporates two weekly sessions that are 4-5 hours each.  This is not your community center’s self defense class.  The combatives instructors demonstrate offensive and defensive moves that recruits then “practice” on each other in combat scenarios.  This will eventually lead to a 2 minute and 4 minute  fight as part of our testing.  Thirdly, my skin is a tough little cookie. I don’t bruise easily, which sometimes frustrates me regarding roller derby because I never have impressive war wounds.  The first notable bruise I received as a Naptown Roller Girl resulted from my own clumsiness, not a hit on the track (I was in the bathroom at practice, and the holy fear of JRoller (our coach) and missing any part of our scrimmage left me in such a hurry that I slipped on my skates and hit my leg and head on the toilet.  I can’t exactly brag about a bruise resulting from the loo.)

With those facts in mind, let’s move on to the game. In “Bruiseopoly” you must correctly identify if the origin of the bruise (depicted in the photo) resulted from:

a.) roller derby

b.) police academy

c.) my own clumsiness

d.) an attack from a rabid animal

Let’s play!

If you guessed B, you are correct! These bruises resulted after day two of combatives training when I was paired with one of the boniest recruits in our class. It’s all fun and games until a 90 lb recruit officer stabs you with his elbow. Let’s move on to photo #2

Did you answer A? Good job! This is what is affectionately known as “rink rash” in roller derby world.  It’s the burn a skater gets on her skin after falling on a skating surface, and this is a fairly mild case.  The next photo isn’t actually a bruise, a  mere flesh wound, but let’s see if you can guess the origin:

If you said B again, you are correct sir! This minor mark resulted from our first handcuffing class at police academy.  My partner underestimated the thickness of my wrists and cuffed me a little too tight, pinching the skin.

And the answer is C.  This resulted from an incident with a sink while hopping around in the early morning hours trying to put on pants.  I have more at-home accidents while trying to put on pants than any other endeavor (for most other Americans it’s tripping over their pets-which causes over 86,000 injuries a year, resulting in over 240 trips to the emergency room every day. Lesson learned: watch out for that goldfish.) Let’s move on to your final opportunity:

Did you guess D?  Incorrect, I did not face a rabid squirrel this week. The answer is B.  This resulted from partnering with a 300 lb recruit officer during another combatives training. He just looked at me and I bruised up, or maybe it was the time he pressed his entire body mass on me after a double leg takedown.

Congratulations! You’ve now played your first game of “Bruiseopoly”. You successfully identified the origin of my bruises without killing your oxen or dying of dysentery. As the weeks progress, we’ll play again. You can look forward to guest appearances by Bob Barker, Wayne Brady, Regis Philbin, Darrell Hammond as Sean Connery, and if SNL doesn’t pan out for Betty White, I’ve offered her the co-hosting position. Until next time..


Golly Gee, this is a swell blog!

In my last post, I referenced roller girls being concocted from 1 tsp sugar + 1 T spice + 1 cup of everything nice (and don’t forget the 2 lbs of intensity). I would also say the same for the CrossFitters I’ve met. While this may be true, they also don’t have a problem perfecting cussing to an artform.

I myself enjoy a good WTF moment. (But Sookie, you’re so cute and little and innocent! True, true. Do short people not swear? Does cuteness void blasphemy?) I could even agree with this journalist in his article “In Praise of Cussing”:

There are many great pleasures in life: Good friends, a beautiful sunrise, a job well done – and the right cuss word.

There’s something about a failed squat snatch attempt that doesn’t make me want to yell “Gee whiz!” It’s so much more satisfying to drop an f-bomb or flip off the kipping pull up.  Ahh, the pleasure of profanity. I can just imagine getting a solid hit from Sweet C at derby practice, while I lay there writhing in pain on the track, pronouncing with my last breath, “Well golly gee that hurt.”  CrossFit and roller derby are two of my worlds where toughness and swearing are associated.  Police academy has further enlightened my dictionary of colorful language.

While I enjoy implementing a well-placed R-rated dagnabit, my blog expression also makes me think of Melissa Urban’s post “A public apology to my Mom”:

I always thought of this blog as my own personal area of free speech. I get to write about what I want, how I want, and express things in a way that I normally can’t. But every day, more people in the CrossFit community – people I look up to and admire – are checking out my blog. And a lot of those people are getting their first impressions of me as a CrossFitter and trainer through my web postings. I started thinking about how I would feel if someone like Lis Darsh or Maureen Martone read some of these posts. I mean, what if my MOM read some of these posts? I have to ask myself, is this really the first impression I want these people to have of me?

Since considering her first impression with people on her blog, Melissa has implemented the “Maureen Martone Rule” to her blog:

The MMR is enforced as follows: If I write a questionable sentence or use a potentially offensive word, I say to myself, “Would I be comfortable with Maureen Martone reading this?”

Keeping in mind my mom just asked for this link last week- it might be the perfect timing to consider my act on The Fresh Meat Beat. For now, dear blog readers, I’ll try to keep it as clean as possible- but are there really replacements for “ass-kickery” and “Kick her in the cooter” ?


Officer smackhouse reporting for duty

Do you know why you can’t find very many blogs about recruits attending police academy? (trust me, I looked) Because there is no freakin time to maintain a blog and attend police academy! Let alone sleep, eat, spread derby love and breathe. I jest, but the first week of IMPD was everything I hoped for and everything I feared all at the same time.


-I kicked butt at the PT test, was the fastest in my group for the 1.5 mile, and smoked the boys with my 61 push ups. And come to find out, the instructors love holding us in plank or leg lift position- both of which I’ve mastered at derby with skates on! Doing it without skates at academy makes it so much easier. I came physically prepared, it shows, and it’s helping me tremendously. When the instructors talk about CrossFit and Paleo, I feel great knowing I already have 6 months under my belt.

-The only good time to be a female and waiting in line for a bathroom? At academy! Imagine 65 boys trying to share one stall within our 5 minute break. We ladies only have to fit 9

-I didn’t cry the first day-and come to find out, all the screaming and yelling doesn’t bother me a bit. I’m more confident than I thought I was, and the military setting of academy really suits my personality.

-I love combatives! This is our physical training that involves fighting, wrestling, learning chokes, and how to bit*h slap somebody (I’m not kidding- supposedly this is much more effective than a punch).  It will be Mr. Smackhouse’s dream come true when I ask him to help me practice my single leg take downs this afternoon.

-Most of my fellow recruits are honorable, polite and fun to be around.  One of the other female recruits also Crossfits and eats paleo- so that’s one less person to give me crap about the way I eat at lunch.

-I’m getting paid to work out, go to class, study, get yelled at, do pushups, do some more pushups, learn to serve the community, and then learn to defend myself and fight?? For the love of coconut butter- this is awesome!


-Waking up early every morning. Even though academy starts at 7am- this usually requires waking up at 5am to make sure I have everything prepared for the day.

-Carrying at least 4 bags to and from academy every day:

Bag 1- textbooks, binders, first aid kit

Bag 2- court suit attire

Bag 3- PT gear, BDUs, and boots

Bag 4-Lunch

-Polishing my boots and ironing my clothes- I know Mary Poppins says that in every job that must be done there is an element of fun, but I say bull crap. She also said a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down-and I know that’s not true, it’s actually a spoonful of whiskey.  If you know a way to make ironing or polishing fun- let me know.

-Time commitment- For the next 6 months I will be sleeping, eating, breathing academy. Maintaining my glorious roller derby career as Sookie Smackhouse will be difficult. My first NRG practice after a full day of academy was exhausting- but I’m hoping to keep it up.

All in all, not a bad week for Recruit Officer Smackhouse. 23 more weeks to go.


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